Church...

... as it should be? What does that even mean?

Is it really about a hierarchical structure that functions with a large purpose of becoming like a perfect [at-least-mini]megachurch - showiness and great programming at the forefront to attract everyone and their 3rd cousin through their doors?

Or could church possibly be more about small groups of people coming together and interacting/growing/living alongside one another, interacting through the symbolic/real sacraments and the living Word of God?

I hesitate to draw sharp criticism to the majority of "churches" today, but I think it is worth considering. More thoughts to come later...

Ode to the YMCA parking attendant

I know not, sir, quite how much time you might have on your hands
With such an illustrious job you execute on Thursday's stands
What joy you have in granting entrance to eligible beings
What power lies in your position, fulfilling and so freeing!

I know you are quite busy, keeping faithful watch each moment
You might not have much time to read this poor attempt at sonnet
I openly admit I'm not a poet or magician
Especially when writing for illustrious personage

Forgive me then, most honored sir, when feelings took the dive
As I was pulling in last week to teach my class of five
I work quite hard, get little thanks and even smaller earnings
And now I'm pegged quite negatively as a child's help for learning?

What made you think, if I may ask, I teach for my profession?
Was it the color of my eyes, or perhaps my clothing choices?
Surely you couldn't help but notice my less-than-athlete's figure
I admit I don't run twenty miles to give me verve and vigor

But! I'm proud to be a teacher - love my students through and through
Providing them with tools to brighten home and life - who knew?!
Music, such a treasured gift to share with those around
So why, then, was I mortified from your pronouncement loud?

Quite the knowing tone of voice, the looking down your nose
As you proclaimed my fate, forever pegged as one of "those"
I couldn't help but wonder how many others you have slighted
Categorized and boxed away, because you are short-sighted

I beg you not to make this same mistake through all your days
For teachers change the lives of those whose minds they set ablaze
The spark of knowledge mixed with passion - oh, the combination
Can forever steer one's course in life - a precious education

I'm sorry if you had a horrid time in school and such
I can't pretend all educators have students' best at heart
But next time you decide a person looks to be a teacher
Your gentler realization would be much appreciated

Sincerely,

Elizabeth "The Piano Teacher"

Sukkot... even so, Lord Jesus, come!!!

The last appointment on the Leviticus 23 calendar is the Feast of Booths, a seven-day harvest celebration. This feast begins today (the Hebrew calendar follows lunar cycles so every year the festivals change - on the Julian calendar). The Hebrew name of this festival is Sukkot, a word that means "shelters, stables or huts." These temporary, tent-like structures are often translated as "tabernacles" in our English Bibles. The festival is so named because Israel was commanded to annually build such dwelling places as a reminder of the post-exodus years when they lived in huts and booths, following God in the wilderness. Sukkot is a time of joy and celebration, a time to celebrate the harvest and revel in God's goodness.

The Apostle John used a verb form of the same Greek word that is used for the Hebrew word "booth" (sukkah) when he wrote, "And the Word became flesh, and dwelt [tabernacled] among us." (John 1:14)

Wow!!! God sent Christ to dwell among us... and one day we will dwell with Him eternally and perfectly. Life will be like a Feast of Sukkot every moment! I get really excited when I think about that. An eternal celebration with the Lord! Yes, Lord, Thy kingdom come!!!

Timely lyrics

"Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend..."

"Now when I listen the melody's changed, the rain only whispers 'good-bye'..."

"Hope was still an open door once upon a dream..."

"When the tears fall, still I will sing to You..."

"I know You're my only Hope."

"The Reluctant Christian"

I saw a friend today I hadn't seen for about 4 months or so. Before that, I hadn't seen him for about 4 years or so... and before that, I'm not sure.

He looked at me during one point in our conversation... I had asked him if I could pray for him and he just said "I'm not sure I believe... that... anymore. I first started wondering after my grandpa died... I think about it every day." We talked a bit more, I re-voiced the question, and he assented. As I sat, just trying to talk with God about my friend... I asked for Truth to be revealed to him... and that he could have true peace in that Truth. I didn't go too deep in the moment, but I think God understood. Apparently so did my friend, because after I said "amen", he paused for a moment, put his hat back on and looked up at me... all he said was "well, I don't think I'm going to sleep tonight."

Reluctant Christian... they are everywhere. People with doubts and questions for God, and for various reasons they have been choosing to push their questions aside for the time being... not just their questions, but they have refused to acknowledge God as Lord. But they belong to God and He brings them to Himself - in His timing. My friend is struggling through his death questions... who knows what else. So I'm asking God in boldness and yet with child-like hope and faith that my friends' heart will be led to the knowledge of God and His offer of hope for the world through Christ. My heart aches for friends like him... I see their longing for peace, for rest... and we both know they don't have it. At the end of the day, that's why I can sleep at night, though... the gift God has somehow chosen to give me.

"God saved you by His grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. ~Ephesians 2:8~"

I pray this gift is also a gift my friend receives... and others like him. Perhaps he is reluctant... and will only remain so for a little while longer. I hope and pray this is true!

A day of healing and blessing...

Jesus! what a Friend for sinners!
Jesus! Lover of my soul;
Friends may fail me, foes assail me,
He, my Savior, makes me whole.

Jesus! what a Strength in weakness!
Let me hide myself in Him.
Tempted, tried, and sometimes failing,
He, my Strength, my victory wins.

Jesus! what a Help in sorrow!
While the billows over me roll,
Even when my heart is breaking,
He, my Comfort, helps my soul.

Jesus! what a Guide and Keeper!
While the tempest still is high,
Storms about me, night overtakes me,
He, my Pilot, hears my cry.

Jesus! I do now adore Him,
More than all in Him I find.
He hath granted me forgiveness,
I am His, and He is mine.

Hallelujah! what a Savior!
Hallelujah! what a Friend!
Saving, helping, keeping, loving,
He is with me to the end.

Caught up...

People (particularly believers) can use a lot of lingo about "taking the easy path"... usually when speaking pseudo-sympathetically (or pseudo-judgmentally) of others' poor life choices and eventual consequences.

I started thinking tonight about how I am taking the "easy" path though. I've been dealing with a lot of my insecurities and failures... it's been a difficult summer for me in many ways. I've felt alone for a lot of it, lots of miscommunications with dear ones, and ultimately feeling like a failure in many of the things I attempted TO do. It's been very disheartening. Not many people know this. In fact, I don't believe anyone knows I have this blog so I may just be writing to myself anyhow. But it's true... I have felt more alone, more disheartened, more like a failure, and more depressed than I have probably ever felt in my life. Which is so strange... because honestly, I feel like I've spent more time with the Lord than I have in a long time also. Maybe part of that was out of desperation and feeling all these things described above. I would go to the Word and just spend time quietly (or tearfully) with Him.

About that "easy" path, though... all these feelings, situations, failures... it has been so easy for me to focus on how much of a loser I am. How much I've failed, how I'm such a terrible person, how I'm not love-able, whatever it is... and honestly, it's easier to delve into those feelings and wallow in them than remind myself that (while horrid and depraved) I am God's precious daughter. He loves me. For that reason and that alone, I am not a failure. I'm not un-love-able. I do not need to lose heart. I don't need to beat myself up.

But that can be the harder path for me. I see others so easily the way Christ sees them... but I have a hard time seeing myself as Christ sees me. But that is what I have to remember. Even though I'm still striving to be like Christ, He has taken my guilt and shame upon His shoulders... willingly and lovingly. I can love myself, not because of how amazing and perfect I am, but because somehow God chose me and loves me. I ache to be whole and I long to be in His presence, complete and no longer subject to Satan's temptings and tauntings.

He is good!!!