The Bucket List

10 things I'd love to do before I die... :) I have no idea if and/or when I will accomplish any, some or all of these things. But my heart longs to longs for each of these things. Possibly, someday.

1. Become a certified massage therapist

2. Travel to Australia and Asia

3. Retain/advance my knowledge of knitting and crocheting long enough to create beautiful things

4. Become a happy and creative vegetarian

5. Marry the love of my life

6. Adopt a child

7. Create a true home atmosphere for my own family and share it with those the Lord brings to us

8. Learn to make a violin sing

9. Dance gracefully, joyfully and uninhibitedly

10. Write a song that breaks barriers and touches many hearts





I'm feeling transparent tonight... just quietly longing for something. Not quite sure what it is exactly, but it's down in there somewhere.

How did God create the entire universe, simply from the sound of His voice and the desire of His heart? How has God always existed? Such things are too great for me to comprehend...

"My heart is not proud, O LORD, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, put your hope in the LORD both now and forevermore." ~Psalm 131~

Purity: Part I, a physical examination...

There is absolutely nothing like a completely intimate physical relationship shared by a man and a woman that have made a lifelong, public and binding commitment to one another.

Nothing could begin to compare. A physical relationship was not designed for a dating or engaged couples to "tide them over" until marriage. A physical relationship in its purest and most beautiful form was designed for marriage - between a man and woman.

Our culture, media, food industries and almost every relationship tries to tell you (directly and indirectly) anything else. Seeds of doubt are sown and reaped almost before we are old enough to realize and understand this. "Did God really say...?"

Arguments: first of all, homosexual relationships. I could argue Scripture forbading these relationships (both in OT and NT) and some would say those passages are only grammatical mistranslations from prejudices over the years. I would disagree. In addition to Scripture not allowing homosexual relationships, let's think about this: if God created a man/woman gay, would that person be able to have/produce children naturally? After all, two men or two women can't make a baby by having a completely monogamous relationship. One of my recently-turned-gay friends has multiple children from a previously happy marriage. Tell me how he was born gay, yet still able to produce children? I have friends proclaiming to be gay. But I have friends proclaiming to be alcoholics. Friends proclaiming to be chemically dependent. It breaks my heart, seriously. Nobody wants to be responsible for taking actions. Nobody wants to admit that they are a sinner. Everyone wants to have a gene that makes them more susceptible to the "sins" they've fallen prey to. Everyone wants to be labelled either as "sick" or "born that way" instead of labelled "fallen with disposition to sin rather than to live as the Lord intends".

Arguments: masturbation. No excuses here, either. Scripture doesn't blatantly discuss this issue in an isolated manner, but if love is patient and is not self-seeking.... well, a sexual relationship is designed to bring pleasure to both partners. It would seem this kind of act is selfish more than selfless. Being satisfied in and of yourself alone, when you want it, not waiting on the Lord and to share this intimate pleasure with the one whom was meant for you.

Arguments: dating/engaged couples just want to enjoy "some" physical relationship: well, I'd honestly say get out of the physical relationship if you're not ready to take that physical commitment holistically and get married. Once a sister said to me about her and her then-fiance: "we dated a long time. We wanted to serve one another, even physically, especially as the relationship slowly progressed. We knew we were getting married, eventually..." and they did get married. Some people may not see there being a problem at all. But I do. Again, if love is patient... it sounds nice to "serve" your significant other by giving them physical/sexual favors without actually going "all the way", but again, I would still say this falls short of God's intended place for a physical relationship. How beautiful if on the first night of marriage, a husband and wife would feel the physical thrills of intimacy for the first time. Not just the act of sex itself, but everything surrounding physical stimulation and intimacy.

Don't think I'm just throwing rocks with this blog. I have failed this beautiful idea. I have fallen and broken in this, as I am in every other way. My rebellion and choices have put me under my own judgment in this blog. But thank GOD His grace through Christ is enough to cover me. Not that I may keep sinning so grace abounds, but thankful for His grace for my broken heart over my faults and bad decisions. Grace and trust that I will not make these same decisions ever again.

Coming soon: Purity, Part II: emotional coverage...